I’ve been out of touch for a while – in this ‘while’ so many things have happened to me.  In the moment when these ‘so many things’ were happening in my life I wanted to write – I mean that is what the Diary is for right?  However rather than write I thought I’d give my power to getting through things rather than putting pen to paper (fingers to keyboard) which is not like me usually I diversify and do many things – there was a lot to be said for focusing on one thing – for me it  worked.  It now means I will be writing retrospectively for a while.  Mabey it’ll make more sense if I just get on with it.  There is so much to say I am glad I am sharing this site with my beautiful dear friend Diane.  Whilst writing at this very moment I am thinking and believing this site is such a good tool to share with the world the experiences of two black women getting by in this big ‘ol world our ups and downs, our dreams and aspirations, our loves and losses our challenges and successes.  I am so happy here right now today this very second, and the next and the next …….. this time last year I was HOMELESS yes officially homeless a year on I have my own place, working as a community worker (my love) and lecturing in a college for excluded young people.  I’ve lost weight and I have a much healthier mind, body, soul and spirit.  During the last year I have had a year of abuse at work, left and was unemployed, thrown out of college even though I got the highest marks in the class!!! (They have since apologised- and facing my solicitor) I am now facing a major operation in the next few weeks  – but hey I am still smiling because I am here! I am alive! I am happy! I pray, keep positive and focused. In the next few days I will ‘catch up with you all and fill you in – but for now I’m doin’ fine.

Lauretta

I had a great weekend a friend stayed over for a few days and I raved on Saturday celebrating a friends birthday – Diana came too.  Monday morning I received a rude text from my friend the house guest she made some bad choices this weekend and decided to use her free texts to have a go at me as she felt embarrassed by her personal choices.  My response was polite I told her she was great and my friends were concernerd that she got home OK.  After careful reflection I realised it is time to let go of this friendship.  Having suffered a lot of grief, abuse in the past I have a forgiving streak which only exacerbates abuse you know the forgiving – abuse cycle.  I now know my limits and it is time for a change.  As for this friend – our Journey together is over.

Lauretta

It’s 11.45 and I am hungry.  I have a choice between Ryvita or some unknown soft trendy cheese or soya milk – dunno porridge or something – wish I had some chocolate or crisps or something that does not need cooking so I don’t feel bad and just eat without feeling no way.  I’m off to bed VEX!

Lauretta