Too Strong For Too Long
Queen Mary J Blige penned these words in her song of the same title. Once again her words resonated with my life experiences. Was talking to Diane tonight about the untold strength us black women have been blessed with and the untold strength and high expectations society has for us.
I’ve spent the last 20 years of my adult life being STRONG, ya know, coping, hurtin, bleedin, feeling, loosing, lovin, birthin, cryin, fightin, winning. AND I AM TIRED. I’ve spent my life being strong – when I am sad or unhappy I am strong when challenged or broke or alone … I am strong. I have realised I have BEEN TOO STRONG FOR TOO LONG. I need to rest this weary woman, this child.
Just over a year ago I was homeless, desperate and broke I made the decision to NEVER be in that position again. I busted my gut to make sure it never happens again. I became homeless because I was strong all the time and just kept coping with extreem situations but not living. Claiming back my life and turning my life around was the most challenging thing I have done and here I am.
I challenge the notion of the strength of a black woman because personally it was nearly the end of me. I now have TWO NEW STRENGTHS – SAYING NO AND PUTTING MYSELF FIRST!
Lauretta
So true…!!! I can relate totally to what you are saying…I must take aleaf out of your book & practice more – SAYING NO AND PUTTING MYSELF FIRST…
Wow!
This is exactly how I feel. I’m so tired, and I’m fed up with being strong. Good luck to you love!
Saying no and putting self first are 2 of the greatest strengths one can have. If you don’t take care of yourself, who will?
Congratulations for coming through some of those life stressors. Life happens, sometimes!
I think women, black women in particular, have taken on the mantle of ‘we have to be tough and strong’ when we are just as vulnerable as the next woman or man. I am tired of being ‘strong’ – what does that mean anyway? If it means trudging forward with a heavy load on my shoulders then no thanks. I think I will pause along the road and think of a way to chuck away some of the unnecessary baggage in my backpack that was either given to me or I have picked up along the way. Pausing is good. Reflecting is good. Making decisions for myself based on my own needs are the only positive way forward and I give myself permission to be me. Strong Black Woman? Too cliched and one-dimensional for me.
Great post and I like your new design – very fresh and easy on the eye!
Zee.
Hiya ladies
I just wanted to say thank you for your lovely comments positive words and vibes. I wrote the journal entry/blog when comming out of a frustrated ‘state’ I reflected and try to evaluate what it is I kept on doing t – you know that thing that works for a while then breaks down and suddenly I am looking at the begining of the circle. I knew I had to break the cycle but hardest of all – I had to take a long hard look at myself to see where my behaviour came from and how it had evolved into a ‘truth tale’ that I used to beat myself down with. The notion of STRENGTH can potentially be so flawed and if we are not careful we will fall -strong or – die strong but oh no not me as soon as I recognised my behaviour (which took many years)I have challenged my ways opted out – it takes work believe – and I tell you my ‘new strengths’ feel great.