I have just come home I attended a prize giving ceremony.  I completed the course in December and was completing the second stage until interrupted.  I was aware that I am in currently challenging the organisation yet I had to go there to collect my hard earned certificates.  It was a great evening I collected my award from the Head of Adult Education, had a photo taken etc.  We had drinks and a buffet after and I met up with colleagues past and present.  We swapped numbers and promised to eat.  My lecturer and his colleague came into the room and hovered in the corner he looked sheepish it was awkward for me.  After a while I walked over to his corner and invented him over.  I said please join us – we are also taking photos.  They joined us everyone was happy.  It was a great evening, so with certificate in hand I went home.  I received a few calls from my study colleges complementing me stating how well and comfortable I looked I thanked them. 

The truth is I had help.  I prayed, I meditated I spoke with friends who offered me pearls of wisdom and encouragement additionally I journaled and my journaling help me to critically reflect upon what had happened, where I was and where I needed to go from here.  Facing my challenges made me realise that what I considered to be a challenge was just a situation that I added a lot of negative value to and gave it power.  By changing the way I thought about a situation I was able to attend, be dignified not intimidated and rise above the various dynamics of the evening.  I am sitting here looking forward to ringing my mum and letting her know how well her daughter is doing.  The best thing I have my certificates, courage and tools to help with situations that may arise in the future.

Lar x

I just can’t seem to keep up with everything. Being on the internet full time means I am never away from my computer and I question sometimes whether I should just go get myself a job, work for a few hours, come home and watch TV before doing it all again.  But then I know I could never live with that for too long.

11 years of being self employed and always having to go out there and find my salary rather than just having it appear in my personal account is beginning to really get to me. Even on the internet there is still a need to find people to buy your product, take up your service, sign up for your newsletter.

It’s just constant and non stop! I’ve given up on the rich man who’s going to rescue me and know that I truly am the only one who is going to make this work but I really am very tired…..